Back in action...for real this time!

Hi blog readers!
Long time no talk, I know I've dropped the ball but I promise I'm back and better than ever. This blog is going to get a huge revamp within the next couple of weeks. I hope to do more vlogs, post weekly blogs about being a little person in an average sized world, my diet and exercise routines, what's on my mind at the moment and anything else you want to read about.

So first things first, an update on life and things in it. A few big things have happened. I became a Zumba instructor as of April 19! If you don't know me on a personal level, I'm obsessed with Zumba and have wanted be an instructor for a long time, but it took a few years to build up the confidence to do it. This Thursday I will be leading my first song which is exciting and terrifying at the same time. Thanks Mark and Aylett for the support!

The second update is a little bit more personal but just as exciting. Being a little person weight has been, continues to be, and will always be a struggle for me to maintain. These past five years have been difficult and around 2 years ago I really started kicking it into gear. And as of last month I can be classified as healthy and of normal weight! When I got the news I couldn't stop grinning; it confirmed that these past 2 years of exercising, cutting out the foods I love, and listening to my mother finally paid off.

In the future of this blog I want to talk a lot more about diet and exercise. Since I started losing weight people have asked me what I've done, and I want to answer.

I'm back and better than ever! Talk to y'all super soon!
-Jillian Ilana

Back in Action!

Hey blogosphere, long time no talk.
Sorry readers for not posting on here in a while but I don't want you to think I've forgotten you. A lot has happened since November when I last posted. I went with the football team to the New Orleans Bowl, saw some friends I haven't seen since I left for the Big Easy, and learned a lot about myself as a college student.

I have struggled with this blog post, I'm not sure what I want to say. All I know is that Rafiki was right. The past can hurt, and you can either run from it or learn from it. After these past couple of weeks I wanted to run, far away. But I'm channeling my inner Simba and learning from it. Things happen to teach us something. It may not be instantly clear but I think I'm starting to realize that bad things happen to show us how strong we really are. No one, LP or AP, deserves what happened to me to happen to them, but at the end of it all I know I am a much stronger student, woman, dwarf and little person because of it.

I plan to update this blog more regularly with meaningful posts like this one and random posts about anything and everything. With spring football starting up, my birthday and Mardi Gras around the corner and a new semester underway I'm sure I'll never be at a loss for words.

Till next time!
-Jillian Ilana

Vlogember Days 3 and 4

Hey y'all so day 3 was really short so I combined Day 3 and 4 into one vlog! Check it out!

Day 5 coming soon to the internet near you! 

-Jillian Ilana 

Day 2

Here's Day 2!! Check out The Chocolate Bar and The Galleria.

VLOGEMBER

Hey Y'all,
So I'm doing vlogember where I'll vlog everyday in November. So here is my day one and day two will be up shortly!

-Jillian Ilana 

Day 2

Of course I'm keeping my promise by posting everyday in honor of Dwarfism Awareness Month, and Inspiration Wednesdays are not included in that. So today I'm going to make a top ten list of things that wouldn't have happened if I was an AP

10. Not getting carded at the movie theater while my friend did and we're the same age
9. Getting asked if I could be given as a gift
8. Having someone give me a dollar to take a picture with me
7. Something I can't mention here but I can say it happened on Bourbon Street (still scarred a little bit from that)
6. Being told I'm a cutie from complete strangers
5. Getting a free bracelet because I have a cute butt
4. Watching my mom get told to be quiet because the lady wanted to give me a free bracelet
3. Getting a medical fast pass at Disney World and Universal Studios
2. Being a football trainer
1. Playing volleyball with other dwarves on Amy Roloff's team


So that's it for now!
-Jillian Ilana

Inspiration Wednesday

It's Hump Day! Happy almost National Mean Girls Day! But more importantly it is Inspiration Wednesday...or inspirations. My inspirations today I discovered by accident. I had to have been a sophomore in high school and I wanted to learn how to do makeup. So naturally I went to youtube. I typed in "make up looks" and the amount of results was staggering. But one look caught my eye and I'll include the video here.

I got inspired by her boldness to wear bright colors and wanted to emulate her style so I kept watching and once I made a youtube account I subscribed to her channel. Over the years she not only taught me how to do makeup, but how to be brave enough to stand out in a crowd and to embrace my inner and outer beauty. She has inspired me to think outside the box and to see beauty in a new and creative way.

My second inspiration I discovered through my first inspiration. Actually they're related. My second inspiration is the first girls younger sister and I first saw her sitting as a model for her older sister. Recently I found her youtube channel and I also subscribed to her channel. Her videos are more about style rather than beauty and she has opened up my eyes to a whole new world of fashion that I have fallen in love with, but there was one video that truly inspired me. Again I'll post it here, but it talked about eating disorders and watching it made me cry and made me realize that my body is mine, it's no one else's. The only person who should care about what my body looks like and there is no reason to hurt myself in order to try to have a body that someone else says I should want. 

So who are these girls? On youtube, they go by the names Xsparkage and Chwelsea respectively. In real life they are Leesha (Alicia) and Chelsea and they inspire me to be the most beautiful I can be on the inside and out. If you haven't watched any of their videos I suggest you do, they are two inspiring women who have definitely given me a better outlook on life. 

Keep on the look out for my day two post today and thank you Leesha and Chelsea for being inspirations, thank you thank you thank you. 

-Jillian Ilana

Leesha's Channels: 

Xsparkage- https://www.youtube.com/user/xsparkage

Chwelsea- http://www.youtube.com/user/superdooperrad 

Dwarfism Awareness!

Morning. It's morning, everyone! Today's the day! The sun is shining, the tank is clean, and we are gonna get out of...(name that movie!). 
Hey y'all so I'm in a movie kind of mood because something very exciting is happening here for the next few weeks, or months. So in case you didn't know I am now a student and Metropolitan City State College. Yupp and guess who goes to school with me? Morton Schmidt and Greg Jenko. Still don't know who they are? Maybe you know them by their real names, Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum. Yupp, Tulane University is the set of 22 Jump Street, the sequel to 21 Jump Street. Needless to say I am on the hunt for Channing and Jonah, maybe he'll come to the showing of This is the End tonight? Fingers crossed! 

Along with 22 Jump Street, today marks the beginning of Dwarfism Awareness Month. That's right, October is Dwarfism Awareness Month so everyday this month I will be writing a post or creating a vlog or a little of both. Inspiration Wednesdays will not be a part of the daily posts so on Wednesday be on the look out for two posts not one. 

I am proud to be a dwarf, I truly am. While I'm not going to say that there are some days when I wish I was taller, or simply wish I wasn't a dwarf, I wouldn't trade my small body for anyone else's any day of the week. If I wasn't a little person, I wouldn't have LPA in my life, I probably wouldn't be an athletic trainer, I wouldn't have gone to Detroit, Brooklyn, Orlando, Nashville or DC for the best weeks in my life. I wouldn't have some of my best friends or my twin by my side and I certainly wouldn't be writing this blog. 

So what's in store for the next month? Posts about anything and everything whether it's a day in the life or something more serious, I'll write it. In the mean time, my challenge to you is to wear the color of Dwarfism Awareness Month which is green. Any shade of green is acceptable all I ask is that you wear it at least one day this month. Send me a picture of you in your green and I'll post it in a blog post. You can send them to me at jicurwin@gmail.com. 

Till tomorrow! 
-Jillian Ilana 

On a more serious note...

Hey y'all, so it's Thursday night and I have been going back and forth about writing this post. Clearly I decided to write it but I want to make it clear that I'm not attacking anyone or any group of people, that has never been or ever will be the aim of any blog post I write. I'm merely writing this blog to talk about my life experiences as a little person in an average sized world. That being said, I felt that this post was necessary just to shed a little light on a situation.

There are a lot of groups on Facebook, I'm sure all of you are in more than you realize, I know I am. One group in particular got attention from the little people community and not in a good way. The group was called "I Wish I Could Have A Midget For A Pet". Granted it was an old group that had not been updated in probably 3 years but the page should not have existed in the first place. There was a rallying cry to report the page and to get it off of Facebook as fast as possible and surprisingly we were met with delays. We got a reply saying that it was not going to be removed but our feelings were noted. Needless to say, the little people community was upset but that didn't stop us and as of when I last checked Facebook, the page no longer exists.

To report the page I had to go to the page and I was shocked at some of the things the creator had written. It hurt to know that there are people who feel that way about little people. I completely understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and can express that in any way they feel, but when comments were made asking to take it down because it was offensive, the page owner could not understand why people felt that way.

I understand that I was not personally attacked in the Facebook page but I am a little person and to see something like that hurt. If you agree with the person who made the page, you are more than welcome to your opinion, I will not look down on you any less as a person, I just hope that I along with the rest of the little people community can make you see that we are dwarves and we are people just the same.

Before I end the post, I just want to reiterate that it is not my to attack anyone not only in this post but in my blog as a whole. Thank you for reading!

-Jillian Ilana

Guess what day it is??

Yes, yes it's hump day but it is also inspiration Wednesday!! Today's inspiration is more well known, in fact if you don't know who he is I suggest you watch Underdog or subscribe to HBO ASAP. He has been nominated for several awards and has won a Golden Globe and an Emmy for his work. Still don't know who he is? Today's inspiration has played iconic roles such as:  Miles Finch (Elf), Finbar McBride (The Station Agent), Dr. Simon Barsinister (Underdog), Captain Gutt (Ice Age: Continental Drift) and Tyrion Lannister (Game of Thrones). Still don't know? Okay, okay I'll tell you. Today's inspiration is Peter Dinklage. 

Peter Dinklage has been seen on the big and small screen since 1995, or since I've been born. In his 18 almost 19 year career, he has created iconic roles like the ones listed above and many others. But that's not why he's my inspiration. He's my inspiration because he proved to everyone that being a dwarf has no limits on what  a person can do. He's never accepted a role that has made fun of little people and is not afraid to speak out against wrongdoings towards the dwarf community. Don't believe me? Watch this. 

At the end of this speech he tells people to google Martin Henderson, a member of the dwarf community was the victim of a dwarf tossing incident. On one of the biggest nights of his career and as the "get off the stage" music starts to get louder he spreads awareness for little people. That is why he is my inspiration, not because of the roles he's played or the awards he's won, but for what he's done off screen.

Inspiration Wednesday

First of all, I want to give a birthday shout out to the tallest little brother a girl could ask for! He's a pain in my butt, even 1,000 miles away, but I still love him like crazy and would do just about anything for him. Hope you like your gift! And if you don't I don't want to hear about it ;).

Second of all, I want to give another birthday shout out to my madrina! Happy birthday! It's weird not being home to celebrate it with you but I hope its just as special.

Now onto the actual blog post. I think I want to do a weekly inspiration post and the only day I could think of was Wednesday. Why not right? So every Wednesday I'm going to post about someone or something that inspires me. They may be a LP, they may be an AP. Who knows? The point is I want to share with y'all what inspires me to be not only the best dwarf, but the best person I can be.

Today, I want to talk someone I don't think a lot of you know. She doesn't have a wikipedia page (yet), she's not listed as a star of any TV show or movie (yet) and she hasn't saved the world (yet). She has been through more than what anyone deserves to go through in an entire lifetime and she's only a high school senior. Yet you wouldn't know it. This girl is probably the craziest girl I know; she can make me laugh even before 7:00 a.m. on a monday morning and is not afraid to stand out. Every time I write a blog post she texts me saying how much I inspire her and the truth is she inspires me. She is one of the strongest girls I know and when I think I'm having a bad day, I think of her and I realize that if she can pull through what she deals with every day, I can get through whatever I have to get through. Her name? Her name is Michaela and she is one of my best friends.

Michaela (Kay, Kayla) has been through so much, it makes my life look like a walk in the park. But even on her bad days she still tries to make others happy. She always has something witty and hilarious to say and without fail she answers a text message almost instantly. Kayla inspires me to push through any struggles and to live each day to the fullest. Thanks for being one of my best friends Kay inspiring me everyday.

VLOG #3

I wanted to make another vlog...so I did 

-Jillian Ilana 

My scars...

There was a time in elementary school when I was afraid to wear shorts. I waited until the last possible day to pull a pair out of my closet to wear to school. I was afraid people would look, I didn't want people to question them, they were just another thing that made me stand out in an average sized world.  Now looking back, I realize how foolish I was. I have scars, in fact I have more scars now than I did back in elementary school. I don't try to hide them now, I wear shorts, dresses, bathing suits, etc. proudly. My scars are just a part of me.

The first set of visible scars I got when I was five years old. My right leg literally looked like the letter C it was so bowed. Bowed legs are common in dwarfs and are corrected through a procedure called an osteotomy. The specific osteotomy I received was on two bones that I don't remember the names of but they make up my calf. I received a cast, it was rainbow tie-dye and it was the most awesome cast ever made, and I wore that for a couple months. Once it was removed, I was left with four scars in my leg. Two of which were the result of the incisions made during the procedure. The other two resulted from a pin that was placed through my leg.

My second set came from my second osteotomy I received in seventh grade. A year before the surgery, I began complaining of left ankle pain. Every step was painful and three doctors, more braces than I can count and a boot, something had to be done. So instead of spending my thanksgiving with my extended family, I was in the hospital with a metal contraption that has a proper name but I will forever call it the ugly, metal, painful thingy sticking out of my leg. I wore this thing for a couple of months and I hated it. In the cast, I got a wheelchair and the uncomfortable part was that it was itchy. With ugly, metal, painful thingy I had to deal with cleanings which involved a lot of screaming, a lot of cursing and a lot of stinging (literally placing rubbing alcohol into an open wound). Yet even though I hated ugly, metal, painful thingy it did do its job and when it was removed I had no more pain. What I was left with were two scars left from incisions and four little holes where ugly metal thingy stuck out.

My scars remind me of my past and I'm proud of it. I wouldn't be the person I am today without the surgeries. I would rather have the scars than the pain any day of the week.

Toodles for now! Wish Tulane luck as we face off against LA tech tonight! Roll Wave!
-Jillian Ilana

A quick update

Hey y'all, long time no blog. I had an idea for what I wanted to write about in my next post but of course I forgot it. So until then I'll give you an update on my life and being a little person at Tulane.

As far as anyone can tell, including myself, I am the only dwarf at Tulane. That makes me feel special knowing that I am truly one of a kind here, but unfortunately it does have its downside. Saturday night, my friends and I went out to the frats and The Boot. While walking past this one frat, two girls pointed at me and said something along the lines of, "Look there's a midget....There's a midget on campus..." While walking, I turned around to look at them and said, "I can hear you," then walked away. We kept walking towards The Boot and as we moved to get in line, two guys pointed at me and said something along the lines of, "Look there's a midget...There's a midget on campus...Do you see the midget?..." Again I turned around to look at them and said, "I can hear you," then walked away. Needless to say that put me in a mood and I was at the point in the night when I just wanted to go back to my dorm. The night wasn't fun anymore so we did walk back a few minutes later after a quick stop at The Boot Store. When I told my friends what happened they immediately jumped to my defense and said that if that ever happened again to let them know and they'll back me up. So shout out to MO-10 for being the best floor ever!!

Aside from those people last night, people have treated me pretty normally. No one automatically assumes I can't do something because I'm little or acts like I'm a child because I'm the same size as one. Now that doesn't mean I still have moments where I feel invisible or left out but those moments are becoming more scarce and far between.

Classes are challenging but they're the kind of challenges I like facing head on. I thought I was crazy for wanting to take on Arabic and symbolic logic and intro to macroeconomics but I'm so happy I did. They are interesting and the professors make me want to learn.

I'm also loving Football! While waking up at 5:30 in the morning is a struggle, I'm learning a lot and the team is great. I am "one of the guys" in the sense that they don't consider any job for me too big because I am small. I can't wait for our first away game this Thursday as it will be my first time traveling with the team. Good luck boys!

Now how do I make this big campus a little smaller for me? It's been a bit of a challenge as there aren't stools in every room and a guidance counselor to take care of my issues with a simple phone call. It's been a lot of playing around and seeing what works and so far with the help of the Office of Disability Services, the changes we've made have been for the better. I am getting online textbooks or PDFs so I have to carry my computer instead of all my books with me from class to class and passes that allow me to be a few minutes late if and ONLY if those few minutes are necessary.

So that's my life so far at Tulane. I pinky swear my next post will be less about me in general and more about making this average sized world a little smaller.

Tasharrafna!
-Jillian Ilana

VLOG

Hey Y'all,
Here is my second vlog where I talk more about my first week at Tulane! Check it out!

-Jillian Ilana

Life Update

Shalom to all! I know, I know I haven't posted in a while so hopefully this post makes up for it. I just finished up my first week at Tulane and it's certainly been memorable.

There's an expression that life is like a roller coaster or something like that and that could not be more true, especially about my first week. There have been a lot of ups and downs and there were times that my downs were a lot lower than my highs were high. Being a little person, I feel like it's a lot harder to fit in socially into an average sized world. People can literally talk above me and not even realize I'm there. I know that I don't particularly look like a college freshmen and others do too so it feels like they don't treat me as one. Now I know a lot of this is most likely in my head but it's what I've felt throughout the past week. Thanks to help from my family (sorry for all the late night calls) I've been able to persevere and make the start of my Tulane experience a success.

I probably have one of the worst freshmen schedules ever seen, all 8 AMs, but that's okay considering football starts bright and early at 6:30. My classes are interesting, a lot of reading though (I actually should be doing that right now but clearly I'm sidetracked. But Mom I am reading and doing my work I swear). After class I usually get lunch: my go to lunch is edamame, a kashi bar and a fruit cup, YUM! Once I finish lunch, I'll try to find people or hang out in my room or go to the gym. My next post I'll talk about how a dwarf works out.

At night there have been frat parties where you walk into a house and it's packed and hot and loud. So far, every frat party I've been to hasn't disappointed :). When not at a frat, a typical night out in Tulane is at The Boot. The Boot was just voted the number one college bar in America and it lives up to its title, the line is always out the door and its always a good time.

Ask anyone about New Orleans and they automatically think of Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras and beads. Well yesterday, I got to experience two out of the three. Yesterday was Southern Decadence which is a gay pride festival and girls on my floor and I hopped on the bus and streetcar to see what it was all about. Music was blasting and everyone was loud and proud. We met a lot of interesting people, some wearing shoes bigger than me but they were FIERCE! Anyways, throughout the festival, people kept asking to take their pictures with me, pick me up, to be given as a gift and other outlandish things. Needless to say it got to the point where I felt uncomfortable. I have never been objectified to that extent and I just wanted to get out of the situation, so my friends and I did and we had the most interesting taxi driver in all of New Orleans.

Being a dwarf I know I stand out and I know I'm going to get unwanted attention from people, but dwarves aren't objects, we're people. It's hard to be treated like everyone else when I don't LOOK like everyone else but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop asking, I'm just going to ask louder.

So yeah I think that sums up my first week in The Big Easy. Oh and by the way I got the beads for blowing kisses and simply standing on the street, not doing the typical thing to get beads. If you don't know what that is, google it.

See y'all later!
-Jillian Ilana

College Life

Hey readers! Long time no post. I'm officially a college gal! I have a break in between classes so I thought I would post what I've been up to and stuff like that. Tulane has exceeded all expectations so far and I am literally loving every second of it.

Move in day was organized chaos. The dorm opened at 8 and we were here by 8:30. We pulled in, unloaded everything and dad went back to get everything we didn't bring which was basically our entire Bed Bath haul (the Bed Bath down here is insane, two floors and an escalator for your cart!). Once the car was unloaded, upperclassmen helped bring up everything while my mom and I walked up not one, not two, not 5 but 10 flights of stairs. The first time I did it I was like that was easy, the fifth time I was completely eating my words. At least I know that if I can't make it to the gym I can still get some exercise in :). Anyhoo, after a day of unpacking, organizing, stressing, and a little bit of tears, I finally finished moving in. I'll post pics below.

Classes started on Monday and lucky me, I have all 8 AMs. So everyday I'm up by 7 at the latest. All my classes are interesting and I'm excited to see what the semester brings :).

So how does a dwarf navigate around this big campus? A lot of tylenol, a lot of endurance, a little bit of fear and comfy shoes. I've been on time so far and haven't gotten lost yet, but my legs are paying the price. I've woken up every day feeling sore so children's, yes CHILDREN'S tylenol has been my best friend. I take children's tylenol because I know the dosage and there's no uncertainty with taking too many.

At night I've gone out, doing the typical college thing, and my body gets tired long before my brain does so it's all about pacing myself but most importantly...having a good time.

That's all for now I have to get ready for class, but I'll update again. Maybe with a video? Hmmm....

Farewell!
-Jillian Ilana

What do you want to know?

Bonjour y'all! So I'm all moved in at Tulane and I'm loving every minute so far. Mom hasn't cried...yet... and nothing was broken :). I'll insert pics of my room and how I adapted things around here in my next post but what I want to know is... What do YOU want to know? I'm writing this blog for you, the readers. So comment on this post or tweet me or comment on facebook what questions you would like answered and I'll post my answers in the next post.

Auf Wiedersen!
-Jillian Ilana

Vlog- New Orleans bound

Hey blog readers! So hopefully this worked, this is my first time making a Vlog so all fingers crossed! Enjoy and until next post!
-Jillian Ilana

Last few moments in Jersey

The time has come, tomorrow at 3 am I'll be waking up and heading towards the airport with a one way ticket to New Orleans. Words cannot begin to explain how excited I am to start this new chapter in my life. New school, new friends, new opportunities, I can't wait! Today was a whirlwind of last minute shopping and goodbyes and endless phone calls from my mom telling me to come home. By the way I want to give a shout out to the best mother in the world, Audrey! She was up at 6 A.M. (which if you know my mother, waking up at 6 is totally normal for her) and she packed and repacked all day. I love her in more words than I can write in this post. 

My clothes are all packed, everything is ready at Bed Bath and Beyond for me to pick up and all that's left to do is get on that plane. Since we have to leave the house at 4 to make it to the airport by 5 I made my last Wawa stop until Thanksgiving. If you don't know what Wawa is, it is basically 711 but a gazillion times better. 

I asked my mom if she ever thought this day would come and she said she knew it would, but there was a time when she didn't think I would be going so far away. She didn't think I could, being a little person, but she's so proud of me that I'm proving her wrong (one of the only times, by the way, that she said I am allowed to). And honest to goodness, I shared her doubts. I didn't think I would be able to move 1,000 miles away, with no little people connections in the area and have a "normal" college experience. But I'm ready. BRING IT ON! 

Tomorrow I'll update as I make my way to New Orleans, maybe I'll vlog...who knows? 

Good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite! 

-Jillian Ilana