On a more serious note...

Hey y'all, so it's Thursday night and I have been going back and forth about writing this post. Clearly I decided to write it but I want to make it clear that I'm not attacking anyone or any group of people, that has never been or ever will be the aim of any blog post I write. I'm merely writing this blog to talk about my life experiences as a little person in an average sized world. That being said, I felt that this post was necessary just to shed a little light on a situation.

There are a lot of groups on Facebook, I'm sure all of you are in more than you realize, I know I am. One group in particular got attention from the little people community and not in a good way. The group was called "I Wish I Could Have A Midget For A Pet". Granted it was an old group that had not been updated in probably 3 years but the page should not have existed in the first place. There was a rallying cry to report the page and to get it off of Facebook as fast as possible and surprisingly we were met with delays. We got a reply saying that it was not going to be removed but our feelings were noted. Needless to say, the little people community was upset but that didn't stop us and as of when I last checked Facebook, the page no longer exists.

To report the page I had to go to the page and I was shocked at some of the things the creator had written. It hurt to know that there are people who feel that way about little people. I completely understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and can express that in any way they feel, but when comments were made asking to take it down because it was offensive, the page owner could not understand why people felt that way.

I understand that I was not personally attacked in the Facebook page but I am a little person and to see something like that hurt. If you agree with the person who made the page, you are more than welcome to your opinion, I will not look down on you any less as a person, I just hope that I along with the rest of the little people community can make you see that we are dwarves and we are people just the same.

Before I end the post, I just want to reiterate that it is not my to attack anyone not only in this post but in my blog as a whole. Thank you for reading!

-Jillian Ilana

Guess what day it is??

Yes, yes it's hump day but it is also inspiration Wednesday!! Today's inspiration is more well known, in fact if you don't know who he is I suggest you watch Underdog or subscribe to HBO ASAP. He has been nominated for several awards and has won a Golden Globe and an Emmy for his work. Still don't know who he is? Today's inspiration has played iconic roles such as:  Miles Finch (Elf), Finbar McBride (The Station Agent), Dr. Simon Barsinister (Underdog), Captain Gutt (Ice Age: Continental Drift) and Tyrion Lannister (Game of Thrones). Still don't know? Okay, okay I'll tell you. Today's inspiration is Peter Dinklage. 

Peter Dinklage has been seen on the big and small screen since 1995, or since I've been born. In his 18 almost 19 year career, he has created iconic roles like the ones listed above and many others. But that's not why he's my inspiration. He's my inspiration because he proved to everyone that being a dwarf has no limits on what  a person can do. He's never accepted a role that has made fun of little people and is not afraid to speak out against wrongdoings towards the dwarf community. Don't believe me? Watch this. 

At the end of this speech he tells people to google Martin Henderson, a member of the dwarf community was the victim of a dwarf tossing incident. On one of the biggest nights of his career and as the "get off the stage" music starts to get louder he spreads awareness for little people. That is why he is my inspiration, not because of the roles he's played or the awards he's won, but for what he's done off screen.

Inspiration Wednesday

First of all, I want to give a birthday shout out to the tallest little brother a girl could ask for! He's a pain in my butt, even 1,000 miles away, but I still love him like crazy and would do just about anything for him. Hope you like your gift! And if you don't I don't want to hear about it ;).

Second of all, I want to give another birthday shout out to my madrina! Happy birthday! It's weird not being home to celebrate it with you but I hope its just as special.

Now onto the actual blog post. I think I want to do a weekly inspiration post and the only day I could think of was Wednesday. Why not right? So every Wednesday I'm going to post about someone or something that inspires me. They may be a LP, they may be an AP. Who knows? The point is I want to share with y'all what inspires me to be not only the best dwarf, but the best person I can be.

Today, I want to talk someone I don't think a lot of you know. She doesn't have a wikipedia page (yet), she's not listed as a star of any TV show or movie (yet) and she hasn't saved the world (yet). She has been through more than what anyone deserves to go through in an entire lifetime and she's only a high school senior. Yet you wouldn't know it. This girl is probably the craziest girl I know; she can make me laugh even before 7:00 a.m. on a monday morning and is not afraid to stand out. Every time I write a blog post she texts me saying how much I inspire her and the truth is she inspires me. She is one of the strongest girls I know and when I think I'm having a bad day, I think of her and I realize that if she can pull through what she deals with every day, I can get through whatever I have to get through. Her name? Her name is Michaela and she is one of my best friends.

Michaela (Kay, Kayla) has been through so much, it makes my life look like a walk in the park. But even on her bad days she still tries to make others happy. She always has something witty and hilarious to say and without fail she answers a text message almost instantly. Kayla inspires me to push through any struggles and to live each day to the fullest. Thanks for being one of my best friends Kay inspiring me everyday.

VLOG #3

I wanted to make another vlog...so I did 

-Jillian Ilana 

My scars...

There was a time in elementary school when I was afraid to wear shorts. I waited until the last possible day to pull a pair out of my closet to wear to school. I was afraid people would look, I didn't want people to question them, they were just another thing that made me stand out in an average sized world.  Now looking back, I realize how foolish I was. I have scars, in fact I have more scars now than I did back in elementary school. I don't try to hide them now, I wear shorts, dresses, bathing suits, etc. proudly. My scars are just a part of me.

The first set of visible scars I got when I was five years old. My right leg literally looked like the letter C it was so bowed. Bowed legs are common in dwarfs and are corrected through a procedure called an osteotomy. The specific osteotomy I received was on two bones that I don't remember the names of but they make up my calf. I received a cast, it was rainbow tie-dye and it was the most awesome cast ever made, and I wore that for a couple months. Once it was removed, I was left with four scars in my leg. Two of which were the result of the incisions made during the procedure. The other two resulted from a pin that was placed through my leg.

My second set came from my second osteotomy I received in seventh grade. A year before the surgery, I began complaining of left ankle pain. Every step was painful and three doctors, more braces than I can count and a boot, something had to be done. So instead of spending my thanksgiving with my extended family, I was in the hospital with a metal contraption that has a proper name but I will forever call it the ugly, metal, painful thingy sticking out of my leg. I wore this thing for a couple of months and I hated it. In the cast, I got a wheelchair and the uncomfortable part was that it was itchy. With ugly, metal, painful thingy I had to deal with cleanings which involved a lot of screaming, a lot of cursing and a lot of stinging (literally placing rubbing alcohol into an open wound). Yet even though I hated ugly, metal, painful thingy it did do its job and when it was removed I had no more pain. What I was left with were two scars left from incisions and four little holes where ugly metal thingy stuck out.

My scars remind me of my past and I'm proud of it. I wouldn't be the person I am today without the surgeries. I would rather have the scars than the pain any day of the week.

Toodles for now! Wish Tulane luck as we face off against LA tech tonight! Roll Wave!
-Jillian Ilana

A quick update

Hey y'all, long time no blog. I had an idea for what I wanted to write about in my next post but of course I forgot it. So until then I'll give you an update on my life and being a little person at Tulane.

As far as anyone can tell, including myself, I am the only dwarf at Tulane. That makes me feel special knowing that I am truly one of a kind here, but unfortunately it does have its downside. Saturday night, my friends and I went out to the frats and The Boot. While walking past this one frat, two girls pointed at me and said something along the lines of, "Look there's a midget....There's a midget on campus..." While walking, I turned around to look at them and said, "I can hear you," then walked away. We kept walking towards The Boot and as we moved to get in line, two guys pointed at me and said something along the lines of, "Look there's a midget...There's a midget on campus...Do you see the midget?..." Again I turned around to look at them and said, "I can hear you," then walked away. Needless to say that put me in a mood and I was at the point in the night when I just wanted to go back to my dorm. The night wasn't fun anymore so we did walk back a few minutes later after a quick stop at The Boot Store. When I told my friends what happened they immediately jumped to my defense and said that if that ever happened again to let them know and they'll back me up. So shout out to MO-10 for being the best floor ever!!

Aside from those people last night, people have treated me pretty normally. No one automatically assumes I can't do something because I'm little or acts like I'm a child because I'm the same size as one. Now that doesn't mean I still have moments where I feel invisible or left out but those moments are becoming more scarce and far between.

Classes are challenging but they're the kind of challenges I like facing head on. I thought I was crazy for wanting to take on Arabic and symbolic logic and intro to macroeconomics but I'm so happy I did. They are interesting and the professors make me want to learn.

I'm also loving Football! While waking up at 5:30 in the morning is a struggle, I'm learning a lot and the team is great. I am "one of the guys" in the sense that they don't consider any job for me too big because I am small. I can't wait for our first away game this Thursday as it will be my first time traveling with the team. Good luck boys!

Now how do I make this big campus a little smaller for me? It's been a bit of a challenge as there aren't stools in every room and a guidance counselor to take care of my issues with a simple phone call. It's been a lot of playing around and seeing what works and so far with the help of the Office of Disability Services, the changes we've made have been for the better. I am getting online textbooks or PDFs so I have to carry my computer instead of all my books with me from class to class and passes that allow me to be a few minutes late if and ONLY if those few minutes are necessary.

So that's my life so far at Tulane. I pinky swear my next post will be less about me in general and more about making this average sized world a little smaller.

Tasharrafna!
-Jillian Ilana

VLOG

Hey Y'all,
Here is my second vlog where I talk more about my first week at Tulane! Check it out!

-Jillian Ilana

Life Update

Shalom to all! I know, I know I haven't posted in a while so hopefully this post makes up for it. I just finished up my first week at Tulane and it's certainly been memorable.

There's an expression that life is like a roller coaster or something like that and that could not be more true, especially about my first week. There have been a lot of ups and downs and there were times that my downs were a lot lower than my highs were high. Being a little person, I feel like it's a lot harder to fit in socially into an average sized world. People can literally talk above me and not even realize I'm there. I know that I don't particularly look like a college freshmen and others do too so it feels like they don't treat me as one. Now I know a lot of this is most likely in my head but it's what I've felt throughout the past week. Thanks to help from my family (sorry for all the late night calls) I've been able to persevere and make the start of my Tulane experience a success.

I probably have one of the worst freshmen schedules ever seen, all 8 AMs, but that's okay considering football starts bright and early at 6:30. My classes are interesting, a lot of reading though (I actually should be doing that right now but clearly I'm sidetracked. But Mom I am reading and doing my work I swear). After class I usually get lunch: my go to lunch is edamame, a kashi bar and a fruit cup, YUM! Once I finish lunch, I'll try to find people or hang out in my room or go to the gym. My next post I'll talk about how a dwarf works out.

At night there have been frat parties where you walk into a house and it's packed and hot and loud. So far, every frat party I've been to hasn't disappointed :). When not at a frat, a typical night out in Tulane is at The Boot. The Boot was just voted the number one college bar in America and it lives up to its title, the line is always out the door and its always a good time.

Ask anyone about New Orleans and they automatically think of Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras and beads. Well yesterday, I got to experience two out of the three. Yesterday was Southern Decadence which is a gay pride festival and girls on my floor and I hopped on the bus and streetcar to see what it was all about. Music was blasting and everyone was loud and proud. We met a lot of interesting people, some wearing shoes bigger than me but they were FIERCE! Anyways, throughout the festival, people kept asking to take their pictures with me, pick me up, to be given as a gift and other outlandish things. Needless to say it got to the point where I felt uncomfortable. I have never been objectified to that extent and I just wanted to get out of the situation, so my friends and I did and we had the most interesting taxi driver in all of New Orleans.

Being a dwarf I know I stand out and I know I'm going to get unwanted attention from people, but dwarves aren't objects, we're people. It's hard to be treated like everyone else when I don't LOOK like everyone else but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop asking, I'm just going to ask louder.

So yeah I think that sums up my first week in The Big Easy. Oh and by the way I got the beads for blowing kisses and simply standing on the street, not doing the typical thing to get beads. If you don't know what that is, google it.

See y'all later!
-Jillian Ilana